Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
