I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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