did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
