watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were trust falling into bushes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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