She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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