grandma shit on top of the toilet
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
