Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Michael Bay diarrhea
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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