Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
