Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
