Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
