My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
