yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
