It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
