You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
