nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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