WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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