so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
