Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
