Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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