They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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