Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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