what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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