So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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