season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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