And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
