his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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