Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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