i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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