I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
