you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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