Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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