Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
