this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
