i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
