my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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