just tell him i said nine months
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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