But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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