ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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