he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
