Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
