She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
