and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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