oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
