Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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