I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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