I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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