I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
