Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
