Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
