why didn't you poke me back
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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